Introduction

What Makes Project X better than any other crappy humor site you have gone to? Well, because we actually put time into our site. There is a-lot of stuff to do here. Seriously, coming here is like going to Disney World. And unlike those other "humor sites" here at Project X we write our own content. [Some of it has been slightly or greatly modified from other sources.] And to answer your question: no, this entire site has not been plagiarized.

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In the news: 1:2:00: Auto's School on fire!

"What every student wishes for."

By the time high school comes around, students have been through hundreds of fire drills in their schools. Yet everytime the alarms sounds, there is always the thought of "Maybe this is a real fie. I hope this is a real fire." Well, last week, Auto's prayers were answered with a raging inferno!

Now that I've led you to believe my school erupted into fire and massive amounts of people died, it's about time to say that it was just a little fire outside with a deathtoll of zero [0]. I was in a classroom separate from the main school building [some ghetto trailer thing] when the fire alarm sounded. However, the alarms is almost completely inaudible from the outside classrooms so it took us a little while to notice it. But even once we recognized the noise, we were reluctant to go outside into the 275 kelvin december weather, so we stalled for another couple minutes. Finally, we slowly evacuated outside where we saw an enormous column of black [toxic?] smoke rising from perhaps 20 feet beyond our classroom, near the sports field. At first we thought that the school's engine room blew up or another trailer classroom [and the poor souls within] was the source of the smoke, but as we got a better view, we were disappointed to see that it was only some gym mats and athletic equipment that was burning.

The Project X News Team was on the scene shortly after the incident to speak with the teacher who reported the fire. "One of my students asked me to turn down the heat. I replied saying that it was impossible for the heat to be on because the school didn't have heating due to budget cuts. Even so, the temperature was clearly increasing. I glanced outside and BAM! I saw a raging inferno just outside the classroom. I phoned the main office and told them the soccer field had exploded."

Ironically, 1100 students were then evacuated from the safe building to the outside, where the fire and was.

Left: After the fire was put out, a smoldering crater was all that was left of the gym equipment and patch of grass.	Right: Photo taken of the actual fire.

Authorities believe the fire was an act of arson. Video cameras caught somebody running from the blazing inferno, though the individual could not be identified. They were able to determine, however, that the "arsonist" was an Asian male wearing dark clothing. Well, about a third of my school fits that description. Plus, who's to say it wasn't somebody wearing an Asian suit? Anyway, random students who fit the description were rounded up and detained. The administration replied to cries of racial profiling with the fact that they also detained 1 [one] white male. After a few hours, the suspects were released without even being questioned. Basically, they got out of classes for the day.

Though the obvious explanation seems to be arson, the Project X Investigations Team thinks otherwise. It could very well have been a meteor or a new space-based laser that ignited the equipment. Plus, there's always Divine Intervention or the possibility that the mats just ignited without cause, a variation on the widely accepted theory of spontaneous human combustion we like to call "spontaneous gym mat combustion."

The aftermath of what is called by students "the coolest thing I've ever seen at school" includes $8000 damage and a homeless track and field team. But $8000 for a couple of athletic mats and some dirt? I smell insurance fraud!